New Terrorist Group was found Today.
Not Another New Terrorist Group. Here’s what we are up against and how Wikipedia defines terrorism:
“Organizations by national governments, former governments and inter-governmental organizations, where the proscription has a significant impact on the group’s activities. Many organizations that are accused of being a terrorist organization deny using terrorism as a military tactic to achieve their goals, and there is no international consensus on the legal definition of terrorism.
This listing does not include states or governmental organizations, which are considered under state terrorism, or unaffiliated individuals accused of terrorism, which are considered under lone wolf terrorism. This list also excludes groups that might be widely considered terrorist, but who are not officially so designated according to the criteria specified above.” Humm, Let me think about that one for a second.
New Terrorist Group
New terrorist Group was found today. Escalating the war on terrorism. Not to worry, our government has this well in hand. Thanks to their invasion of privacy and total control of the media. They were able to capture the cell leader of this New Terrorist Group and finally put and end to terrorism through out the world. Now we can all sleep better and board airliners without being strip searched.
Here’s the Story:
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport this morning as he attempted to board a flight to Tim Buck Two while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. All consider to be dangerous weapons, Because he might slap some bodies hands with the ruler. Poke some bodies eye out with protractor, He might give directions with the compass. Who knows we could have done with the slide-rule, you know it has moving parts. And the calculator well that’s electronic. It has the potential to screw up the planes sensitive navigational equipment.
At a press conference today, Attorney General Eric Holder said, ” He believes the man is a member of the notorious New terrorist Group Al-Gebra movement.” Although he did not identify the man, he confirmed the man is being charge by the F.B.I. with carrying weapons of math instruction. They disarmed the calculator.
Al-Gebra is a problem and New terrorist Group for us, said the Attorney General. “They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes have been known to go off on tangents in search of absolute values using secret formulas, and secret codes with names like X and Y and sometimes Z.” He also stated, ” They refer to themselves as (unknowns), but we have determined that they belong to Al-Gebra, a common denominator of the axis of medieval past time with coordinates and equations in every country.”
As the Greek philosopher Isoceles once said, There are three sides to every two-dimensional triangle. The Attorney General went on to say, ” This is way over my head. Teaching our children sentient thought processes and equipping them to solve problems is dangerous to national security and puts our government at risk of being intelligent. This will not be tolerated. The U.S.A. will not negotiate with these terrorist because they use a different language. Love will not be allowed as it undermines the hate we have established.”
He went on to say, “Federal intelligence agencies are developing new software that can analyze the communications networks and travel activities of terrorists to help discover relationships between them.
The software being developed by the National Counterterrorism Center (NCTC), called DataSphere, is just one of several projects intelligence agencies developed in 2010 to aid in retrieval and analysis of intelligence information, according to the Office of the Director of National Intelligence’s (ODNI’s) 2010 Data Mining Report.
Intelligence authorities can then use the information in their investigations of potential terrorist attacks in development.
The Intelligence Advanced Research Projects Activity (IARPA) is another agency exploring innovations in data mining to collect and analyze intelligence information, according to the report. Last year IARPA continued to advance development of two programs it created in 2009.
The Knowledge Discovery and Dissemination (KDD) program is aimed at quickly disseminating information from large, complex, and varied data sets so they can be integrated with other data sets already in use. The project also will create analysis tools that can work across the data sets once they’re properly aligned, according to the report. IARPA awarded research contracts for the KDD program last September.
IARPA’s Automated Low-level Analysis and Description of Diverse Intelligence, or ALADDIN, meanwhile, is a video-query program aimed at replacing a manual process already in use, according to the report. The program allows intelligence analysts to search large video data sets to quickly and reliably locate clips showing a particular type of event”.
Well there you have folks, The New Terrorist Group Al-Gebra is no more. The end of Al-Gebra. We are safe at last!
If it wasn’t for the fast thinking and quick response of our well-trained T.S.A agents. This airliner might have left the terminal on time and arrived at its destination without incident. Two thumbs up for the D.G.S., N.S.A., T.S.A., F.B.I., C.I.A., N.F.L., N.B.A., E.P.A., A.T.F., I.R.S., G.M.A., K.F.C., B.B.B., E.R.A., M.A.D., G.M.C., F.A.A., J.P.L., N.A.A.C.P., S.E.T.I., N.R.A., F.D.I.C., F.D.A., G.M.O., U.S.G.S., O.D.I.C., D.O.T., G.O.P., H.A.A.P., A.A.R.P., Y.M.C.A., L.A.P.D., N.Y.P.D., U.N., V.A., I.B.M., I.L.O., I.M.F., N.A.S.A., N.A.F.T.A., W.T.O., N.E.D.C., E.F.T.A., O.P.E.C., I.C.B.M., L.A.X., A.B.C., N.B.C., C.B.S., C.N.N., H.B.O., F.O.X., P.B.S., N.S.I., N.C.I.S., R.C.C., N.W.O., and now the New N.C.T.C.
If I left some them out it’s because I didn’t want our government to think I was sending a secret code. But be assured the list goes on and on and on and on. All to fight terrorism. It’s a really good thing our government is doing. Using every letter of the alphabet. To create these agencies that nobody knows anything about to fight a war that doesn’t exist. How could we live without all these letters? Really, who could get rich then and live in peace? If it wasn’t for all these characters. We would be at War. We might have to use numbers and that’s just not right!
Thank God our government knows what they’re doing! They have done such a great job at catching all those bad people who attacked our country. Those bad people shouldn’t do that, it’s not very nice. They shouldn’t knocked down some buildings using unmarked airliners with remote control pods on the bottom. And kill all those innocent people. God rest their souls! We might have to invade and destroy some country that had nothing to do with it, because those terrorist made us mad. Heck, well we’re there, we might as well kick every bodies butt over there. Hey, let’s all start a war so we can all live in peace!
Oh, this is exciting. Our government has now proven there’s life after death. Because one of those terrorist that was flying one those planes, had been dead for a year. And a few others were reborn after and live overseas and are alive today. So relax folks, there is life after death. Our government has just proved it. We need to believe everything our government tells us because they never, never, never ever lie. That’s the truth!
It’s just terrible, that all the financial loan papers for some of the major corporations, and black op operations, a long with tons of gold in the vaults in the basement of the twin towers and building seven. Just went up in smoke. We were really lucky that they fell so nicely right on top of themselves just like a controlled demolition without much concrete ruble. That jet fuel is some amazing stuff. That jet fuel just save the tax payers a lot of money in clean up. And thank GOD the Pentagon was hit exactly where is was. Because even more evidence was destroyed. Man that was close. Those terrorist really knew what they were doing. Because they had just remodel that part of the pentagon and the decor was just ghastly. Nobody liked the new wallpaper, they put it up with that new high explosive wallpaper paste, and the corners were already starting to peel. It’s just terrible about all those old loyal Generals and Military people who were killed. May they rest in peace. They just Loved this country. You know, they fought the Nazis in World War II. Pay backs a bitch!
If that New Terrorist Group had done this. Just think, they might have had to pay those loans back and not had their debt wiped clean in a blazing jet fuel fire. After all they have weapons of math instruction. Come to think of it. That gold didn’t belong to anybody anyway and is now in safe keeping, some where unknown by somebody unknown as well. Man it’s a good thing those terrorist didn’t know that gold was there, otherwise they might have stolen it and financed their terrorist activities. Good thing nobody knows where it at now!
Then our government might have had to create more agencies to protect us, because as it is, we are a few hundred short. Now we know why our government takes away all of our rights? They want to keep us safe, and allow us to live in a free country where nothing is free, not even GMOZ lunches anymore.
I just want to take this moment and thank all those fine people and agencies that are protecting us from ourselves and all those bad people. Because there’s a lot of bad people out there that are jealous of the freedoms we Americans don’t have, because the best way to stop those bad people from being jealous of We the People is to take away those freedoms and Presto! No more Jealousy. Thanks guys, good job. We all feel a lot safer now! Hail Caesar! Long live the Queen, I mean, Heil Hitler, I mean, 欢迎 Huānyíng, I mean, приветствие!
I mean, God Bless America! Our home sweet home! The buck stops here.
Hope you enjoy this moment.
Knowledge is Power
Take your Power Back
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment of any kind. We don’t imply or condone the breaking of any laws. For educational purposes Only. Or are we telling anybody to do anything regarding themselves. Nor, am I a terrorist. I don’t own a slide-rule. We are all big boys and girls and can make up our own minds, if the government Clowns would just take the fluoride out of the water supplies. But that’s not going to happen, anytime soon.
Views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of Doowans News&Events or it’s staff. But they might !