Diddling your Squash

Diddling your Squash can be fun and exciting.

Diddle your Squash is just a fancy name I use for pollinating. As we all know it takes two to tango, if you know what I mean. In the same respects it takes two Squash flowers to make a Squash fruit. Squash plants have Male and Female flowers but it’s the Female Flower that bares the fruit. Since the flowers don’t have legs they can’t just walk over and Diddle each other. This is where you come in. Diddling your Squash can be fun and exciting.

Hey Diddle Diddle it’s the Stamen in the middle. I just made that up.

Diddling your Squash may become necessary

Bees are dying all over the world, and nobody is sure why it is happening. Up to 40 percent of U.S. beekeeper hives failed to survive the past winter, making this the worst season so far on record. In part this was the result of a mysterious and growing phenomenon called Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) in which bees fly off in mass and never return to their hive.

For much of the past 10 years, beekeepers, primarily in the United States and Europe, have been reporting annual hive losses of 30 percent or higher, substantially more than is considered normal or sustainable. But this winter, many U.S. beekeepers experienced losses of 40 to 50 percent or more, just as commercial bee operations prepared to transport their hives for the country’s largest pollinator event: the fertilizing of California’s almond trees.

One of every three bites of food eaten worldwide depends on pollinators, especially bees, for a successful harvest. And in the past several months, a scramble in California’s almond groves has given the world a taste of what may lie in store for food production if the widespread, and still puzzling, well not really if one takes into consideration the GMOZ decimation of bee colonies.

In diddling your Squash, we Doowans will show you how easy it is to hand pollinate your Squash plants to receive more fruit. I Diddled a Squash flower this morning and will show you how easy it is to determine the male from the female flower. Don’t worry I washed my hands after the event! The Squash plants have the tendency to start producing the male flowers first so if you don’t find any females flowers don’t worry they are always late to arrive.

Diddling your Squash

Male Squash Flower
It’s not the size it’s the motion.

The male flower as a different stamen than the female flower. The picture above is of the male flower with a single Stamen. You can see the pollen that has already fallen off the Stamen. Plus, the male flower doesn’t have the fruit bulb behind the flower that the female has that becomes the Squash.

Male Squash Flower side view
The fruit bulb sits right behind the flower which is missing on this male flower

Now that we have identified the male flower, let’s take a look at the female flower.  She has a different body of course. I won’t black out or blur out the important parts. The female stamen has a different appearance.

Female Squash Flower
This is a female flower and the different shaped Stamen

The fruit bulb is just behind the flower so there should be no mistake if you know your anatomy. This Female Flower was just diddled. Doesn’t she look satisfied? The picture below is a side view of the Female Flower showing the fruit bulb. This than becomes your Squash after the dirty deed is done.

Female Squash Flower side view
Female Squash Flower notice the fruit bulb just behind the Flower?

Diddling your Squash is easy and fun. I pick the male Flower from the plant leaving some of the stem for holding on to. Use an open male flower that way you know it’s ready for diddling. I than carefully remove the flower part round the male Stamen. Don’t throw the flowered part away as they are great to eat on salads or right off the plant. I take the male stamen and gently rub it on the female stamen and Presto! You just diddled your first squash. One male stamen can pollinate three or four female flowers.

Typical men just like in the real world. Now just sit back have a smoke, your job is done. It’s now up to the female to receive the diddle and start making the fruit that we all love to eat.

See, Diddling your Squash plant is easy. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me. Since the reduction of bee pollinators this is the best method we Doowans found for increasing our harvest from our Squash and it appears to work every time. More Diddling, more Squash

Squash in the making
This Female Squash Flower was diddled four days ago and is on its way.
Female Squash Flower
This flower was Diddled yesterday or was it the day before, and is already on its way as well

I have been diddling so much that I forget which diddle is which, that’s the fun part. Don’t be shy give your Squash plants a Diddle and reap the harvest. It will be as good for you as it was for them. And don’t forget to have some soft music playing in the background. Take a glass of your favorite wine out to the garden and enjoy a diddle or two.  You’ll be glad you did. While your out there give your tomato plant flowers a little vibration. They love it as well.

Without bees the natural Diddling stops.

“Other crops don’t need as many bees as the California almond orchards do, so shortages are not yet apparent, but if trends continue, there will be,” said Tim Tucker, vice-president of the American Beekeeping Federation and owner of Tuckerbees Honey in Kansas, which lost 50 percent of its hives this past winter. “Current bee losses are not sustainable. The trend is down, as is the quality of bees. In the long run, if we don’t find some answers, and the vigor continues to decline, we could lose a lot of bees.”  Diddling is the next best thing.

The gravity of the situation was underscored, when the European Commission (EC) said it intended to impose a two-year ban on a class of pesticides known as neonicotinoids, now the world’s most widely used type of insecticide. Neonicotinoids are one of the leading suspected causes of colony collapse disorder, and the European Commission announced its controversial decision three months after the European Food Safety Agency concluded that the pesticides represented a “high acute risk” to honeybees and other pollinators.

They never mention the GMOZ causes isn’t that funny? Not really! But it’s a known fact that the GMOZ pollen have an effect on the Honey bees stomach. Read more on this using our link to GMOZ and Bees.

Who needs bees when you can Diddle? This Doowan smells a rat. The rats smell like Monsatan, and THE F.D.A. Four years without the Bee is all it will take to wipe out humanity. So, what will it Bee? Let’s Diddle!

To Diddle or not to Diddle. That is the Question.

Female Squash Plant ready to be diddled
Tomorrows Diddle. I can hardly wait.

Hey, don’t knock it until you try it. Diddling your Squash is easy and fun. Give them a Diddle and leave your comments and share your results. Or you can Diddle in private. But Diddle we must for now.

Knowledge is Power

Take your Power Back

CJC

Winky, thumbs up to you
Learning how to Diddling is fun and easy.

Diddling your Squash is just like making love!

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